Micro-no-wayyy

Micro-no-wayyy

Microwaves are super efficient and useful.

They make delicious things manifest themselves, like Hot Pockets. Bagel Bites. All the pizzas that ever pizza’d.

But whenever Franco and I tell people we don’t have one, we get one of three responses:

The first is WHY?

The second is WHY?

The third is… OK, maybe it’s more like we get one major response, and only after getting the 50 WHY’s out of the way do we get a smattering of follow-up questions.

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Not A Writer, Not Yet Not A Writer

Not A Writer, Not Yet Not A Writer

I’m trying this new thing where I’m being less neurotic about the things I write (which is like telling a bird not to shit and an M&M not to melt in your mouth) by introducing a few new, hopefully easier-to-write-than-an-essay columns.

Because I sometimes get letters from aspiring writers and creatives wondering how I’m doing all the writing and creating I’m supposedly doing, I, a writer of my stature (that is, none), think it’s high time I share my so-called wisdom with a recurring column called Questions & Answers(ish).

Instead of responding to one lucky asker via email, I’m now sharing my answers with the lucky readers of this blog—all five of you (seriously, good turnout this year).

Without further ado, I’m kicking things off with something light and fluffy: The Great Recession.

Enjoy. Continue reading “Not A Writer, Not Yet Not A Writer”

The Conversations I Never Have

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‘Twas the season indeed.

There was tinsel. Presents. The ability to listen to *NSYNC’s Christmas album—arguably their best and most amazing work, ever (I mean, who could forget JC’s “O Holy Night”? Lance’s super deep and perfect “YOU” when he sang “The only gift I wanted was you”? And the sexual undertones and overtones of “Under My Tree”? They weren’t just talking about conifers, am I right?)—without judgment.

There was also home.

And for people living in New York City, a.k.a. land of the people from elsewhere, home is a familiar, comforting, and ever-so-frustrating place.

Continue reading “The Conversations I Never Have”